excerpts from a letter to h.richardson from e.hemingway - 1920
[this really breaks my heart]
…You can make me jealous -and you can hurt most awfully- ‘cause my loving you is a chink in the armour of telling the world to go to hell and you can thrust a sword into it at anytime-
DEAR Hash you can surely hurt me a lot when you want to. About the platform and the train. Lord -I thot i was loving you- If i wasn’t I never could and never would love anyone. Guess I was thinking too much about how I didn’t want you to go -don’t you believe I love you? Dunno how I can make you believe.
I didn’t want to kiss you goodbye -that was the trouble- I wanted to kiss you good night -and there’s a lot of difference. couldn’t bear the thought of you going away when you were so very dear and necessary and all pervading…
‘Course I love you -I love you all the time- when I wake up in the morning and have to climb out of bed and splash around and shave -I look at your picture and think about you -and that’s a pretty deadly part of the day as you know and a good test to loving any one…
‘Night my dearest Hash -I’d like to hold you so and kiss you so that you wouldn’t doubt whether I wanted to or not-
Love you-
Sera
Ernesto
