January 2012
3 posts
excerpts from a letter to h.richardson from...
[this really breaks my heart]
…You can make me jealous -and you can hurt most awfully- ‘cause my loving you is a chink in the armour of telling the world to go to hell and you can thrust a sword into it at anytime-
DEAR Hash you can surely hurt me a lot when you want to. About the platform and the train. Lord -I thot i was loving you- If i wasn’t I never could and never would...
bring it back.
about a week ago i made a snarky comment on facebook, essentially chastising girls who use tumblr to promote a bunch of bullshit trends that they’ve latched onto in a pathetic attempt to get boys with beards and/or boys in bands to sleep with them.
at this, my college roommate reminded me that i had a tumblr myself.. though i maintain that the point of mine was slightly less demeaning. or...
April 2011
1 post
i love...
…finding these rando blogs that i started once upon a time when i felt inspired to show off to no one in particular.
everytime i’m left alone in the shadow of a lover who meant much less than i wanted him to, i feel like i should start writing again. as if the boring cycle of fuck, sleep, leave (stretched over years at a time) is really something worth contemplating.
its so easy to simply stop...
February 2010
3 posts
disney world
with less than three inches of snow on the sidewalk out front of my apartment, it may seem irresponsible of me to ditch work today. but trust me, it’s been worth it. let’s do the math.
so far today i have:
guzzled 4 beers. (approximate cost= $5.00) polished off a box of apple jacks ($4.50) ate an entire bag of organic celery ($3.99) &an entire container of hummus ($3.50) shopped aimlessly at...
sweet revenge
there is nothing more satisfying than finding out that your enemies are boring and unintelligent. people who made fun of you in high school (i don’t think anyone actually made fun of me in high school, at least not openly. but it makes a fitting opening to this list) girls that are dating your exboyfriends, girls that your boyfriend used to date, the boss who makes you miserable everyday, the...
wait.. wasn't today groundhog day?
“Seasonal affective disorder (SAD) is a condition in which persons experience depression as a result of seasonal variations in sunlight. It is sometimes referred to as winter depression. A depressive disorder is an illness that involves the body, the mood, and the thoughts. It affects the manner in which one eats and sleeps, the way one feels about oneself, and the way one thinks about things.”
...
December 2009
1 post
"have you written anything lately?"
i have been haunted by the absence of creative thoughts for far too long.
if there is a question that makes me cringe more than the terrifying inquiries about my future as a college drop out, it’s this one. to answer you once and for all, no. i have not been writing. i have not been reading either- just in case that was your next question. the anxiety that has built up within my understimulated,...
June 2009
1 post
summer.
it’s almost the end of june &i’ve been wearing jeans &sweatshirts both day &night. this weather is really starting to take a toll on me, both physically and mentally. yes, i’m going to blame the weather. deal with it.
January 2009
8 posts
my life today.
slept in &missed morning classes. rode the subway with molly. went to lunch with her & matt & kim (hah! matt &kim!) &stephen. went to the bar. went to class. went to work. right now i have seven safari windows open. they are: facebook, myspace, this, america’s next top model application, real world eligibility requirements, the go-getter on some free movie website,...
epiphany.
just had it.
i've got nothing.
i keep trying to have an epiphany. it hasn’t happened yet but i’m getting closer.
i’m going to have a lot of free time this semester. i want to do something productive. something that will enhance my life. something to talk about.
i want to move to center city, immediately.
Watchbut look at how great moz looks!
for now we are young, let us sit in the sun &...
Watchthis is seriously incredible.
i do not exist out of context.
sometimes i think that maybe my life has consisted only of a series of lies that i’ve told to myself & convinced myself to believe. this may have been fine for awhile, but now that i’ve acknowledge this deception i feel sick to my stomach. i don’t know what’s real & what’s fake & i’m too much of a coward to try to make the distinction.
i do not...
December 2008
1 post
hey, thanks for ruining my day.
i am so angry. i am so at ease. i feel just like some great big disease. i think you need ice water. but the only thing that you really hate is all it’s emptiness. oh you’ll swim and i will drink myself to death. i’m never in doubt of you. like you don’t know.
November 2008
1 post
birthday blues.
my birthday was this weekend. on friday night i went to the dolphin with some friends & had five beers in total. thom and i walked to his house at four in the morning in the pouring rain. i was wearing red suede heels so i took them off and walked barefoot through the puddles. on saturday i drank nine dollar martinis at applebee’s in center city (lame) and then i got locked out of my...
October 2008
1 post
p hilt & memopad.
funny things that i found in the memo pad of my phone when i remembered it’s existence:
a) i would srsly like to have a baby pig for a pet
b) 1. man &wife the former (financial planning)
c) 12th street gym?
d) my rodeo is packed & it’s in goodbye gear
e) the video store is closed down, dark &empty. it was the last remaining piece of this city that ever gave a shit...
September 2008
1 post
things just getting good.
my to do list for this week & beyond:
catch up on reading
write short story for creative writing workshop
study for intro to music exam
clean the apartment
pay comcast bill
find other bills & pay them, maybe
buy bleach
do laundry
find a coffee maker
call my mother
order new checkbook
buy the rest of the textbooks i need this semester
buy produce this weekend
paint my...
May 2008
2 posts
these mornings
we don’t talk about the past or the future or what happens when we’re lonely or desperate or drunk.
so sorry, it's over.
a: so you thought she was the one huh?
b: yeah. one in a billion.
a: well, let's not get carried away here. the average guy meets about nine hundred women during the mating years. so, so you thought she was the one in nine hundred? i get it.
b: [silence]
a: still, a devastating blow.
b: what if that's it?
April 2008
2 posts
March 2008
1 post
this is a test
this is only a test. after the successful completion of three academic essays in the past 24 hours, i have come to the conclusion that i am going to start indulging myself again. i haven’t decided whether or not i’m going to tell anyone that these ramblings exist; i can’t imagine many people are particularly interested in any of the things that i have to say. i’m very...